Dear SaaStr: How Should I Think About Family and Balance If I Want to Build Something Big in SaaS?
Balancing family and building a company is one of the toughest challenges for founders. It’s not just about logistics—it’s about mental bandwidth, priorities, and the trade-offs that come with going big.
Here’s how I think about it:
First, accept that true balance doesn’t exist if you’re building something ambitious.
Running a startup will consume at least 80% of your mental bandwidth, even if you’re physically present at home. You’ll think about your company in the shower, on vacation, during dinner—it’s just how it is. The idea of “work-life balance” is a myth at this level. What you can do is carve out intentional time for your family and make it count. For example, I made it a point to be home for dinner most nights and tuck my kids in, even if my mind was still racing about work. And to always have an adventure together on the weekend.
Second, don’t expect your family to fully understand the journey.
They won’t get why you can’t just work 10% less hard or why losing that big partnership feels like the end of the world why it never ends. Or why being in the SF Bay is so important (this is very common).
That’s why it’s critical to find ways to communicate with your family about what’s going on without overburdening them. After the first six months of starting up, let them off the hook. They can’t carry the weight of your stress forever, and trying to make them do so will create a negative feedback loop.
Third, integrate family and work when possible.
Some of the best moments come when you bring it all together. For example, I’ve seen founders bring their kids to meetings or involve them in small ways in the company. I’ve always made my retreats family-friendly. It’s not always practical, but when it works, it can be rewarding. It’s about finding ways to keep your family close to your journey.
Finally, be intentional about carving out time for family.
Even if balance doesn’t exist, you can still prioritize moments that matter. Whether it’s dinner, weekends, or vacations, make those times sacred. And don’t forget to communicate to your family about the trade-offs you’re making and why they matter. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary to keep those relationships strong.
Ultimately, building a company is all-consuming, but it doesn’t have to come at the expense of your family. At least not totally. It’s about being intentional, integrating where you can, and accepting that the journey will always be a balancing act. You won’t get it perfect, but you can make it work.
Also remember, and this takes a while to see: your kids will be proud of you if you do something epic.
Later you’ll see just how wonderful and important that is. They want you home. But they also are proud of you. They want to see you do great things, too.
